2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an amazing person Good

thumb_up thumb_down +2

vbh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walks into a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

thumb_up thumb_down +2

obama's promises

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Civil Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red pickel are green i split you legs whats in between

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops