I have Alzheimer. What?

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What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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What is long and black The unemployment line

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watermelons are red, pineapples are yellow. i'm not a poet, say hello for me.

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what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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