what did the shark do when he died.....

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Why did the black man have to stand in the bus? All of the other seats were taken.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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Why did people have cold showers in the old days? Because there was no electricity back then, making it hard to heat water to a temperature that was classified as 'warm'.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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