Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? We both have hair

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How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

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Roses are Violets, Violets are Roses, I am a dumb ass, The Hobbit.

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops