-_- i like trains ... -_-

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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A man walked into a bar, was surprised to find his wife with another man, and had a heart attack.

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What's green and has four wheel? A tractor.

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Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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Why did the baby cry? Because his parents dropped him on his head.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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