what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

Suck pussy

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

Knock knock.

How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

David Cameron

What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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