whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Jimmy Saville

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops