A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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