"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Lil Wayne

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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