Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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I'm tired.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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