Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your momma is so fat she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops