took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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