Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

i dont fisish anythi

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you throw her on the ground.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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