What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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View Terms of Service

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What's Brown and Sticky? A Stick

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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