Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +33

- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +29

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops