Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What did little Ben's mom give him for Christmas? Nothing. She died last month

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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I asked her where you were.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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