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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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Roses are red Im adopted

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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