Roses are red Im adopted

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

Women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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