Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

HEY YOU! TISSUE!

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

being sober in a bar fight

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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