How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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a kid was running across the street. he just got hit by a truck

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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