What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

thumb_up thumb_down -14

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops