A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Obama = ebola

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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