Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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meatspin.fr

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops