A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

thumb_up thumb_down -16

eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops