Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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