A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Sarah Palin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Q: What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? A: A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops