Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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HEY!

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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yo Mama so stupid a robber stole her t.v and she ran after him yelling, YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE!

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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