What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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Communism hehe xd

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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