Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

What happened to my sunglasses?

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Knock Knock. Doors open

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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