I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

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I AM SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD AND ORGANS OF ENDORPHIN RUSH IN ORDER TO APPEASE THE GODS KNOWN AS... ME, MYSELF, AND I!

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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hers a joke... japanese people

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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