whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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