What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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I see London. I see France. Show me your boobs.

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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