I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walked into a bar. I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does it mean when your dog goes to the bathroom on your floor? He hasn't been very well potty trained By: robobob123

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops