A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

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why was the 6 afraid of the 7? because 7 was a registered 6 offender.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

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What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Q: What is sad about 4 people in a Cadillac driving over a cliff? A: You could have fit more.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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I'm so punny.

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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