Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

Racist Math Ahmed is on a train from D.C to New York the train is traveling at 125 mph. the distance between New York and D.C is 250 miles. How many will die in the blast.

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

what do u call a black guys dick a pogo stick

What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

flavin's head

What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

The holocaust

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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