What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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I am a schizophrenic, so am I.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops