Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did jim all I over? He dies

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops