How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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The FCC

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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why did the white guy go to a black mans yard sale? to get his stuff back

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What happened when the Arabic man went through airport security? He was racially profiled and stopped, delaying not only him but the line of people behind him.

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so i was on anti joke and i read a joke, it made me laugh.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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