What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Why did the woman spray a black man in the eyes with pepper spray, then promptly run away? Because the woman was a notorious criminal and was currently robbing the man's house, but was caught in the act so she used pepper spray as her last line of defense while she fled from the scene before the man could call the police to detain her and put her in prison for her crimes.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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I am a mime

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops