Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

have you ever had african food? neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops