Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops