Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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I do u blow up a house U put dynamite in it

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops