A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? several.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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All these jokes are so much funnier when I read them during class, laughing my ass off and everybody's looking at me like I'm retarded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops