Why did the monkey cross the road? Because he saw the chicken do it.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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What do you call a baby that got hit by a train? Thomas

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot a carrot

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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