Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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what did the lesbian do with the other lesbian? played badminton

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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