what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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punchline below punchline above

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What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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