Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

What do you call a man that's not funny? An un - funny man!

Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

what goes round , and round , and croaks? a blender in a frog.

How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

What did the waiter say to an overweight customer? May I take your order?

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

Bark I'm a tree

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

How Do You Fart Eat Beans

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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