Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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N-E Pats never cheated

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops