What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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