A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? one dead baby nailed to ten trees

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Religion.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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