Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Terry has ebola

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Obamacare

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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69

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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lets go to the beach beach lets go get away story of josh browns life

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What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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