Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

My love life

Your momma's so fat, she has just been diagnosed with Chronic renal failure.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

You had better thumbs up this post.

Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

your skull would make a nice pen holder

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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