So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

Ben Corbishley

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

What's white and gluey Glue

Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

Why didn't Anne Frank ever leave the attic? She did.

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

Roses are red Violets are blue I haven't been able to deal Since the day that I lost you. Now these roses bleed red And these violets cry blue I think of you in memories Do you think of me too?

What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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